Category Archives: Lifestyle

Coffee: sweet nectar of the Gods

I found myself singing to my coffee maker this morning. True story.

I got a tattoo a few years back, which I love. It took 3 hours to do. I was fine for the first 2.5 hours, but in that last half hour I really started to get irritated and I think I might have threatened the lovely tattoo arteest. And that’s about what happened during this fast. Day 1 and day 2 went by with a few pangs, but overall doable. By midday on day 3, I was downright angry. Last night as I drank the last bottle of the green stuff, I was making faces and probably audible sounds. Friends posting pictures of their delicious dinners to facebook and twitter only made things worse.

Last night I believe I got into some serious dehydration. I wasn’t expecting it, because on days 1 and 2 I had a hard time drinking more water since I was already drinking 100oz of “meals” each day. Yesterday afternoon I kept getting chills and it wasn’t cold out. I also wasn’t feeling very good, so I took a nice, hot bath and broke a good sweat (I’ve got a jetted tub). Then after the bath I couldn’t drink enough water. This was after I finished all the juices for the day. I think I drank another 60oz of water before bed.

So now we know that my discipline only goes so far, which is probably why I’m a jack of all trades and master of nothing. I’m really good at learning anything and then once I figure it out, I move onto something else. Truly the story of my life.

However I am going to make some major lifestyle changes. Interestingly, I thought the changes would be to my fitness routine but instead, it will be dietary. I’ve long been a person who pays attention to ingredient labels—the shorter they are, the better. And with words I can understand. But I’ve slacked and now I intend to pick that diligence back up. It’s only pure laziness and giving into my cravings that lead me astray.

A few take-aways: it would be nice if the juice people figured out how to incorporate a broth into the regimen. Some of us like warm food at least once a day, particularly at dinner. I might have gotten a little more excited to eat some sort of soup instead of the cold stuff all day long. I realize super-heating food kills the good stuff, but I think we could be trusted to control the heat. Also, they should emphasize workouts more. I think it’s important during a detox to work up a good sweat. Of course, then you need to drink a thousand more gallons of water. Which is easy to do when you’re working out.

I’ve lost 5 pounds, but I’m guessing this is water weight. My bloated belly has gone back to normal, and it’s glorious. I’ll try and be diligent with this blog as it’ll keep me honest and see if I can’t keep up the “new” cleaner lifestyle.

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Ok, I’m over it.

I’ve been good.. But if I don’t get some real, tasty, solid, warm food soon, I’m gonna lose my mind.


That is all.

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This is it!

I have to admit, I’ve gotten used to this regimen. It’s almost satisfying on some weird level that I was able to restrain myself enough for 2 days and completely stick to the menu. Meaning, I haven’t had one snack nor a cup of black coffee—and, although it was tempting—I didn’t even chew something tasty and then spit it out. And believe me, I contemplated it.

It’s not that the juices aren’t tasty. Even my least favorite is something that I would definitely drink on purpose if I wanted a shot of vegetables. But I really, truly miss eating food. It’s all in the taste, not about being sated. Some people are addicted to drugs or alcohol, I truly love food. And I know it’s a real love because my sister is the opposite and I’ve never understood it.

One odd urge I’ve had through this whole thing, is the want to smoke. I’m a former cigarette smoker and I do love it so, but don’t do it for obvious reasons. I never think about smoking, but during this cleanse when I couldn’t eat, I wished I could step outside and puff on a smoke. So I think the lesson here is that I’ve got some oral thing going on. That’s all we need to say about that.

So day 3 and my weight has gone down 4 pounds, I weighed in at 125. I’m guessing this is water weight, but my tummy sure feels better. Not all bloated and pudgy feeling. In fact I’ve lost an inch off my waist. Again, not sure how long that’ll last. Obviously it’s up to me to work at it but once I eat solid food, am I going to blow up like a Macy’s balloon? Only time will tell.

I do miss coffee, but I think I’m going to keep the lemon water routine. So every morning while my coffee is brewing, I’ll drink a full glass of room temp water with a half lemon in it. The BluePrintCleanse folks recommended it, and then yesterday I read this post. So why the heck not? Seems like nothing but good can come from it.

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1/3 of the way there

Probably a little more than that, but I can only go so far with fractions.

So I made it through day 1 on the BluePrintCleanse (I chose a 3-day fast). Here are my take-aways: the juices taste WAY better than I expected. This is tough for me because I’m not a juice person. The only juice I like is fresh-squeezed orange juice, specifically from the local grove. Seriously, it’s the best stuff I’ve ever had and it’s like ambrosia. But juices from a store are sickeningly sweet to me, I assume because of added sweeteners. These cold-press juices taste more like what nature intended, but they figured out what combo/mixture balances each one perfectly. Although as with any juice, I can’t wait to brush my teeth afterward. It always feels like every sugar is clinging to my enamel.

My least favorite, however, is the one that I have to consume 3 of the 6 times. I suppose because it does the, ahem, excavation. It’s the veggie juice made of cucumbers and other stuff that I can’t name because all I taste is cucumbers. Which is probably why it’s not my favorite, I’m not a huge cucumber fan.

The pineapple juice is delightful, the lemonade-type is too (although I think it would be way better with vodka) and I really enjoyed the cashew milk. How do you milk a cashew anyway? Well it was tasty with hints of vanilla and cinnamon. I’d like to try it in coffee. Ya know, when I can have coffee again. BTW I’m pretty sure I had one of those coffee withdrawal headaches yesterday. Felt like a vice grip around my head. Seems better this morning.

The hunger would arrive but usually in time for the next juice. So no true hunger pangs. BUT.. I miss food. I have been blessed with a palate that truly appreciates food and all the tastes that come with it. I miss tasting food. Every ad I read in a magazine that had any image of food, or tv commercial, was making me long for it.

The other thing I’ll note is the amount of liquid you take in. I typically drink water all day long, but I don’t think I consume 100oz in a day. The BluePrint folks recommend you drink water in between all the juices. By the time I finish a juice, my belly is full of liquid and the last thing I want is water. I didn’t do well with that task yesterday, I’ll try and improve today. And how do I say this delicately.. I assumed my urine would be all kinds of crazy colors considering the stuff I was putting in my body. It was nearly clear all day long, as if I were only consuming water.

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Whoa .. bigger than I thought they’d be

That’s what she said..

IMG_0913 IMG_0915

I don’t know why I thought the bottles were smaller. I guess on the BluePrintCleanse website they just look small. Or maybe it was just wishful thinking. Each bottle is 16oz, I am to drink 6 per day. You can see the bottle in my hand for size perspective.

I wasn’t sure at what time FedEx would arrive so after my green tea this morning, I had a cup of yogurt and some blackberries. I was supposed to just have fruit. What the hell, I’m a risk taker.

I just downed bottle #1. Not as bad as I feared it would taste. Very celery-cucumbery.

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My last supper (breakfast)

Actually, I will mourn the coffee segment of my breakfast. I drink strong coffee, dark roast with just a little bit of soy creamer. It’s like espresso wannabe. But I only have two cups so maybe the withdrawals won’t be so bad. What I am allowed to drink is green tea (which has caffeine) and herbal teas which typically don’t. Oy.

Yesterday I started the ramp-down of “regular” food and ate like a hippie. Yogurt, nuts, salad with olive oil and vinegar, grapes, carrots and choked down some guacamole (I don’t care for the stuff but hear avocados are good for you). Great meal plan if you don’t like cooking, which I don’t. But oh-so boring.

Measurements taken, I’ll eat fruits and veggies again today and then the juices arrive tomorrow.

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Bye-bye Blackberry, hello iPhone 5

I was one of the last hold-outs. I’ve had a Blackberry since 2007 (when they looked like this) and I loved it. I upgraded to the Curve and then most recently to the Torch. Who wouldn’t love the Torch? It has all the popular touch-screen features, but when you’re ready to type, you slide out a magnificent keyboard.

The keyboard has been my main reason for holding out, but not the only one. Interestingly enough, I’m a Mac person. I’ve been working on Macs since 1993 and have never owned a “regular” PC. I have an iMac, a MacBook Air, 2 iPods and an iPad. And for all those devices, I prefer the Mac OS. But when it comes to my phone, I like being able to customize and drill down to the tiniest degree. The Blackberry satisfied that; having had an iPad for over a year, I knew the iPhone was basically the same device and therefore I knew I couldn’t customize it as well as my trusty Blackberry.

But keys! I like keys. I like that confirmation when I type a letter, that soft-padded click of a key.

The Blackberry corporation didn’t keep up. I don’t know why or how the company that created smart phones with full QWERTY keyboards ended up being so flat-footed while all these newcomers shoved their face in the sand. But that’s the beauty of the free market—keep up or get washed away.

The other problem I had was compatibility, and that’s where I love this new iPhone. My calendars and contacts seamlessly sync with each other. No conflicts, no questions asked. If I put something in my phone’s calendar, it magically appears on my laptop and iPad. Same with my contacts and a few other things I’ve got set up through Cloud.

So what if it takes me an hour to type one sentence. I’m told to be patient, that it’ll just happen. I’ll miss the little blinking red light, the perfect alarm and alerts, the padded click of confirmation when I type; but I’m not gonna lie, I like the big screen with super retina display. And the speed—my God the speed at which everything launches on this iPhone. With my Blackberry I avoided using the browser. I’d do it if I were in a pinch and learned to find my center and calm down because every page is going to take a year to load. And I’m not going to miss the touchy trackpad. My Torch is only 1 year old, and about 10 months in, the trackpad started having a mind of its own. It would go into hyperactive mode in the middle of me typing a text or email, changing characters into weird symbols and inserting the cursor where it didn’t belong. I can’t tell you how often I was tempted to throw it over my balcony as I retyped the same word 1,000 times.

With sweet sorrow, I say goodbye Blackberry, you were a work horse. Hello iPhone 5, you’re my sassy new assistant that ain’t so hard on the eyes.

Which is the weaker sex? Neither.

Part of the Obama perma-campaign (I truly believe this man has never governed) is the claim that women make less than men for doing the same job. I saw a report on Fox the other night that proves that they really don’t have true data to back that up. The data we do have, however, is that women on the POTUS staff are in fact paid a weaker salary than the men folk. We often accuse others of actions of which we’re guilty, so maybe that’s what’s going on here.

But then you have this article from The Atlantic, citing yet another conflicting stat:

In nearly 40 percent of American marriages, the wife earns more than the husband.

Naturally that seems to fly in the face of the POTUS’s campaign claim where he openly tries to pander to women. They go on to report that women who are financially dependent on their husband are more faithful, and if the man is financially dependent on his wife, he tends to stray. Apart from that being a broad brush with which they’re painting, I have this newsflash: water is wet.

The feminist movement never seems to pick up on the fact that if you emasculate a man into submission, it’s not good for a relationship. Now I’m not saying that making more than your husband is an automatic ticket to emasculation, but if you DO make more, you have to create balance in other areas to ensure he knows he’s the man. That’s not caveman mentality, that’s common sense.

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Madge likes Obama

Is akin to saying “water is wet.” Gotta give the old broad credit for putting her own creative flourish of calling him a half-black Muslim. At least she kept her boobs tucked in while gettin’ all political.

But what I find more interesting is the crowd reaction. It’s not overwhelming and full of happy cheer. I think I even hear a few boos. I know my friends over at GOProud probably love Madonna, but won’t be voting for Obama.

Can Madonna even vote in this election? I thought she now has a British accent and lives in jolly England. Then again, we don’t seem to mind when non citizens cast their vote in major elections.

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Want to get married? Stop being so damn liberal

First off, my sincere apologies for making you click on a link that will direct you to the Huffington Post. The last thing I’d want to do is drive anymore traffic to this liberal bastion. However, this is a very good article and it’s worth it. What I find fascinating is the irony; that to be a true partner is to be unselfish, and in essence, conduct yourself in a less overtly liberal way. The biggest problem with today’s youth and the whole liberal mindset is that of insane self-centeredness and victimhood. So this article basically says, “stop thinking about yourself so much, and think about others and the impact you have on their lives.” *gasp* the horror!

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